Write Out A Plan and Then Throw It Away!

Write Out The Plan and Then Throw It Away

I know my son is almost 15 months old now, but I was just watching “Tia & Tamara” and Tia was crying and complaining that the books tell you everything except what happens when things don’t go the normal way.  Well the funny thing is not going the normal way is the normal way.  I am just not sure why it isn’t talked about as much so I will share.

I remember looking around in my Lamaze class and being the only pregnant woman in the area designated “Absolutely No Epidural”.  My Lamaze instructor had pointed out 3 or 4 sections in the room each based on your level of decision making to have an epidural.  The majority of the group was split between “I am flexible” and “I want to start without having an epidural, but if I really need it I will take it”.  I was beyond committed to that choice.  My mother didn’t have an epidural with two deliveries and my mother stopped her sister from getting an epidural at one of her deliveries.  Needless to say, she was not invited to the next birth.

My husband and I had it all planned out.  We were so excited about how to relax me so I can go au natural.  The facility where we would be giving birth had DVD players.  Our Lamaze instructor was pro epidural free so she gave a lot of methods to relax.  We had breathing; we were going to use an exercise ball which I happened to already have in my possession (it wasn’t being used for anything else).  I figured my water was going to break late at night and I would say “Honey, wake up, it’s time”.  I planned to have my bags packed weeks before my due date, we would bring my relaxation CDs, comedy DVD’s so I can laugh, and anything else that would make me feel great.

My baby shower was June 26^th.  My mom wanted it later, but I was like oh you know we shouldn’t have it so late.  My due date was August 1^st.  We had just moved into our first home June 21^st and I was going to begin my maternity leave a week after my shower.  I had PLANNED on working until 2 weeks before, but I just got really tired and he was really pushing on my pelvis.  My shower was wonderful, my mom and best friend, aka sister, did a great job.  We had so much stuff, it was insane.  Everything filled my son’s nursery.  I was so excited, I was going to nest and put everything away perfectly and we were going to set up his crib which was in a box in the garage…

That Monday (June 28^th), the last week before maternity leave, I went in to work at my usual time of 7:00am and I just didn’t feel right.  I strangely told my co-worker, “I feel so weird; I don’t think I am going to make it through the week”.  Throughout the day I began to feel gushes of fluid come out, but as I learned from a previous scare and L&D visit that it was probably just incontinence since my amniotic fluid tests came out negative.  Yet, it just seemed to be a little too much this time.  I talked to a co-worker, mother of a daughter, and fellow pregmo and she was like “uh you should go to the doctor”.  Then I called L&D and they were like, come in.  Please note, they always so come in.  It is the only time they want you to be overly cautious.  I drove myself to the hospital and on the way I called my husband at work and said “I think you should come this time”.

I went to the bathroom and collected a urine sample as instructed, stood up and watched in shock as a puddle of clear fluid gushed onto the ground.  Yep, my water broke.  The strange thing is that it took three tries to confirm amniotic fluid.  The doctor initially saw negative results and based on my bathroom fiasco took and ultrasound only to find that my fluid level was low and said I may have to stay for two weeks before they can induce since I was only 34 weeks.  She actually told us do not make plans when she attempted the test one final time, to which we ignored and began making plans. 

At approximately 5:00pm that night, I was induced (checked in at 1:00pm).  First they started with a pill, then the Pitocin.  I held my ground for 14 hours and asked, how much longer since I was only 1 cm dilated and 30% effaced, my mid-wife estimated another 10 hours.  I was hesitant, I cried, I apologized to my mom for not being strong enough and I got my epidural.  Fourteen hours later, I pushed my 5 lb. 7 oz. boy out.  The NICU team was standing by, they took him over to the bed they had set up right away, and I didn’t get to see his face.  They assessed him and did their entire preliminary test and then they took him out of the room.  Excuse me, what happened to laying him on my chest like the movie I saw in Lamaze class and watch him find my breast and latch.

I was able to see him on my way to recovery and by see him I mean look at my baby attached to tubes and face covered in mesh so the oxygen mask will not come off.  The NICU doctor was like no other doctor I had ever seen.  He talked to us like we were family and like it felt our pain, it was insane.  I was checking his credentials, this is not doctor behavior, I thought. 

Needless to say, my Boogie was in the hospital for 7 days to recover from fluid in the lungs (a result of being early).  The awesome thing is that a 5 lb 7oz baby is big for a preemie so he was a champ.  I think he might have been an 8 pounder.

Moral of the story, things rarely go according to plan.  Doctors say it is rare (I forgot the percentage) for people to deliver on their due date.  I was always warned about delivering early due to my fibroid, but I thought I was in the clear.  We should have a base for what we want and then be prepared to do whatever it takes to deliver a healthy happy baby with a healthy happy mama.  My son doubled in weight so quickly, thanks to the help of the NICU nurses (one of which was a breastfeeding Nazi) he latched like a champ and you would have never thought he started with a feeding tube and formula.  So remember, write out a plan and throw it away!