No Crying Out...The Ferber Method!!

It was that time, the moment to which we were so apprehensive, letting CJ go to bed on his own.  I had spent many of days being a stealth, sly ninja carrying him from our bedroom to his own once he fell asleep on the breast.  I would wait until he had fallen deep into sleep (light sleep will not get it) and “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon” my way out of the bed, maintaining a stable hold where he lay in my arms.  I would hold my breath to reduce chest movement; oh yes (moms should know this) it was that serious.  Truthfully, I could have done that forever, but there comes a time when you have to tell yourself he/she needs to learn how to put him or herself to sleep.  With that said, I refused to do the cry it out method.  Especially after hearing horror stories of 3 hour long crying sessions.  The thought of him crying hysterically while I just lay there made me want to cry as myself.  Fortunately, like most tech savvy moms, I thrive on an internet connection with other moms and ended up finding everything from let them cry until they fall asleep to co-sleeping until like 3 years of age.  The most interesting thing I found seemed to be a compromise and the was called the Ferber method.  I am not sure how you are supposed to quote things in a blog so will just say specific details can be found on the internet.  O.k. so back to basics, I actually cannot remember exactly where I saw it but I usually prefer to get my info from women who have gone through what I am going through.  Basically what you do is on let the baby cry for intervals.  The particular person had said, you put your baby down (awake) in the crib and leave.  You let them cry for 5 minutes and go back in and soothe him or her, without picking them up, for no more than 1 min.  If the baby is still crying, wait 10 minutes and repeat.  Next interval is 20 minutes.  You can choose to go longer or stop at 20 minutes.  I never got passed 20 minutes and it actually only took 3 days.  After that I he cried, but stopped before 5 minutes.  After a couple of weeks, there was no crying and by like 10 months he pretty much started jumping out of my hands to get in the crib.  He doesn’t like being rocked to sleep anymore.  Wait, I actually forgot something, he did still wake up in the middle of the night, but you are able to pick them up during this time and it helps them know if really needed you are there.  I am not 100% sure the midnight sleep is from Ferber, but it was recommended on the site I found.  Some nights I pinch myself because I had the wake up every hour and a half (in the beginning ) baby, then I had the wake up 2-3 times per night after 6 months baby.  So the fact that I pretty much can count on putting him to bed around 7:15p/7:30p and getting started with my stuff does not seem real.  I actually didn’t realize I have a baby that sleeps 11-12 hours a night until my neighbor asked me his sleep schedule and freaked out.  Thanks Ferber!!!

Cabin Fever

I will tell you from experience, do not let your fear of germs or your fear of people being near your baby make you a prisoner in your own home.  Once again, another plan mapped out; no one was allowed to come see the baby for 2 weeks.  I wasn’t going to take him out for at least 3 months, because my baby wasn’t going to be exposed to the outside world.  Even CJ’s pediatrician got in on it.  I asked about going out and she looked at me like I was crazy.  You know, like parent saying “where do you think you are going”.  She said, “Well if you are going to the store, go early when there aren’t as many people there”.  Like that was the only place I could go being a new mom.  This was confirmation that I was doing the right thing by keeping everyone away.  Well after a month and recovery from my Maternity Blues, I got into another funk.  I felt trapped in this strange world.  I didn’t feel like myself which is an energetic, outdoors girl.  It felt like the world was closing in on me, like I was suffocating.  I mean I did not leave the house and I was losing it.  My anxiety began to rear its ugly head like “is this my life”.  Then I had an epiphany, I remembered when my amazing mother came over and forced me to take a walk with her outside and how freeing and refreshing it felt.  So that is what I began to do, take walks.  Just a simple 10 minute walk around the block (baby in stroller), felt so good and fresh.  I didn’t feel I was compromising my rule because no one was around and I covered up my munchkin like Fort Knox.  Eventually I went a step further and remembered how much I loved to just drive around with my husband B.C. (since my son’s name starts with a “C” that works both ways) and look at architecture, people walking around, etc.  So I decided to grab my diaper bag, baby and head off for a car ride.  Oh that was my favorite because it reminded of the cool city in which I live.  I breastfed so his food was readily available and I would stop through a drive thru if I got hungry.  Since my Cabin Fever never got extreme enough for me to break my “rules”, those two things were a great compromise.  Of course, there are people who will take their child out anywhere right out the gate (you know to which gate I am referring) and good for them for being fearless, but all you out there like me find a compromise because Cabin Fever is no day at the park.  Oh and a side note, if I am blessed to have another, I will keep my rules and just start my outdoor fun earlier.  My son didn’t have a single sniffle until we started him at Gymboree and at 9 months he caught a bad cold from one of his classmates.  Good Luck!!!