Stay At Home Mom.....Kind of

On July 30, 2012 at about 11:00 am, I became a stay at home mom and it was not by choice.  First and foremost being with my child every day is heaven on earth.  I didn't think it was possible, but I actually became more attached and more obsessed with him.  Shortly into this new change came the shock that being a stay at home mom was nothing like I thought.  My house was supposed to be spotless.  I would have dinner ready for my husband every night and I would make him breakfast and pack his lunch and blah blah blah.  Of course the veteran STAHMs are laughing at me or maybe those super ones are like what's the problem.  I first got caught up in taking my son every where.  I wanted to keep him active and social.    My son is a little slow on the social interaction and I was determined to change that....apparently immediately.  Previously my husband was at home with him during the day and of course men are a little (or a lot) more relaxed.  He had a daddy and me group, but that was the gist.  I was initially so overwhelmed; feeling like I was failing at my new "job".  Also, FYI, at the end of the day after I put CJ to bed I was exhausted and trying to figure out why the day felt harder than when I was working.  To exacerbate the stress, I had come to the realization that we may not be able to start him at pre-school when we thought which is three years old and maybe not at all or not until four.  We are talking over $400 per month for part time and over $800 per month for full time.  The next step for an overachieving, Type A person like myself that meant becoming a pre-school teacher asap.   After speaking with a mom friend we kind of came up with the idea of planning a schedule for the whole month of October.  And with each week, there would be a theme.  I researched a lot of blogs and websites and went crazy.   I dove in head first and became overwhelmed and depressed and stressed especially after looking at this website: http://playathomemom3.blogspot.com/   It is awesome, but as one of the moms point out they often have housekeepers and clearly the finances to facilitate all that they post.  Of course, that disclaimer went in one ear and out the other and I just panicked.  Fast forward to now and I am starting to realize I have to let some things go.  As a kind of stay at home mom, the kind of refers to the fact that I am trying to establish a new career, I have to realize you have to create a balance and be realistic.

Give a Snuggie???

I had read early on when we were going through the sleep in his own room phase that introducing a comfort item could help him sleep on his own.  Fortunately we didn't really have to try any tricks just the method mentioned in my previous blog.  For some reason, I now can't remember, we decided to introduce the stuffed bear his aunt bought him.  Oh yes, now I recall, it was for naps!  Although we had his bed time routine down packed, naps were not his/our strong suit.  Needless to say, the bear took.  It was so cute to witness.  He would walk around with his bear in a choke hold pulled close to his face or carry it around in his mouth like a puppy.  That was my favorite, he would latch on to his bear's snout with is teeth and just walk around like that.  Now he calls for him "Baya" whenever he thinks about him.  We try to keep bear restricted to bed time, but some times he like bear to be involved in reading time or just plain old comfort.  But word to the wise, the attachment can become a dependency.  One day I nearly broke my neck searching for "Baya".  I was so frazzled and desperate.  It was his bed time and my son was crying for  him and I couldn't find him and we have our routine so I was even more angered by breaking it in order to find the bear.  I found it, but realized I may have created a monster.  We went on a couple of trips and forgot "Baya" and were so devastated.  He was fussy, but he didn't call for "Baya".  Again we are at the point where we will not put him in the bed without "Baya" and he will not go quietly without him.  So you have to ask yourself did you want to be in this situation just to help him get comfy with sleep.  I say it is worth it, but beware.